Spell-A-Thon and Asperger Syndrome

I was cleaning up the living room and I just found a paper about Marshall's school Spell-A-Thon. They are raising money to help buy shoes for kids at their partner school in Uganda, Africa. While I think this is such a worthwhile cause, I think Marshall will not enjoy it one bit. (I am in NO WAY trying to bash the school. I am simply trying to help others understand how Asperger Syndrome makes our life different than a typical kid.)

 While I fully realize my children are two very different people, and that not all children are alike, I also understand some of the things that make Marshall different. Sometimes I wonder why I try. I wonder why I keep trying to make people understand. Why can't I just let them think he is normal? I mean, he tries SO HARD to appear normal. I do this because there are other parents out there who are just like me, who have children just like Marshall, who are desperately trying to hold it together. They need to know they are not crazy, and that there is something wonderfully different about their child. Asperger Syndrome is extremely hard to deal with because it seems invisible to others. They act like the parents are just trying to get attention or something. Trust me. This is NOT about me needing attention. I would much rather have a typically developing, silly, fun 9 year old son instead of a boy who still doesn't understand personal safety, struggles with processing information, has sensory issues, and is so very quick to anger. Anyway, here are my reasons Marshall probably won't enjoy the Spell-A-Thon or the rewards that go with it.

Reason #1: When he is put under pressure to do things quickly, he often can't get his brain to process fast enough. For example, they have an awesome math program that the kids can do on the computer to practice their math facts. He gets really upset and hates this website because it is timed and he really struggles to get his brain to process things that fast. He is a genius, don't get me wrong, it's just his processing speed that is slow.

Reason #2: He can't keep track of anything. I get that most kids are distracted little beings, and we have to make sure everything is in his backpack, but that is as much as I can do for him! I can not make him keep it zipped up while on the bus. I can't make him hand in the papers that are in his backpack either. He lost his case for his recorder twice now. We got it back the first time because he left it on the bus. But, so far, it hasn't turned up yet. Ok, so maybe this is more of a reason for me. Why try to raise money, (and I only have one day to get this done mind you) just to have him lose it?

Reason #3: The rewards for raising a certain amount of money are less than appealing to him. Reward number One sounds great actually! If the student body raises $1,200 the kids get a sweet treat. He might like that. He might give his treat to someone else. (Isn't he just so sweet?) That's no big deal in my book. Reward #2 won't be very appealing to him: If the students raise $3,300 they can get a pajama day. Marshall won't participate in Pajama Day because he says kids will make fun of his pajamas. He is SO worried about being made fun of. Poor kid. He misinterprets things kids say ALL THE TIME to mean they are making fun of him. Reward #3 is a sensory nightmare. If the students raise $6,600, they get a students vs staff silly string war assembly. Can you say utter and total chaos? Can you imagine the noise that will go along with that assembly? It sounds like a BLAST, if you have a typical kid. If you have a child who is sensitive to noises like mine is, it is not fun at all. He absolutely HATES assemblies but he won't ask permission to not attend because he forgets, or he doesn't want to be different.

See how having a child with Asperger Syndrome changes the way you look at things? It has certainly changed the way I view things.