We've been looking for a place to live when we move to Missouri. A WONDERFUL friend took Marshall ALL DAY for the last few days, and I spent almost the entire time scouring the Classifieds and Craigslist, calling, emailing, and just desperately trying to find SOMETHING for Brian to even look at while he's in St. Joseph. I am one who likes to have a plan. Every time we found a place, it was either already rented, or not in the school boundaries that we wanted. I keep second guessing myself. Did I really NEED the kids to go to those schools? Could I be OK with a different school? Does it matter which ward (a church congregation) we are in when we get there? St. Joseph has 2 LDS Wards. What about the look of the place? Does it really matter? Should I quit being so picky? The stress of trying to find a home is overwhelming to me. It doesn't help that I still get up every morning at 2am to do the paper route, and that I'm completely exhausted all the time. How can I just trust God? Oh, it is so hard. Finally, I swallowed my pride and turned to the scriptures. I went to the Topical Guide and looked up Trust in God. I started in the Old Testament. This one was pretty comforting. Psalms 37:3 says, "Trust in the Lord, and do good; so shalt thou dwell in the land, and verily thou shalt be fed."
Also, Psalms 62:8- "Trust in him at all times; ye people pour our your heart before him..."
There is also that really awesome one in Proverbs 3:5-6: "Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths."
I think that pretty much sums up what I need to do. I swallowed my pride (and need for control), and prayed really hard. I prayed that I could let go and know that everything would be OK. I'm still trying hard to trust, but I'm not quite as scared.
Here is a short video about someone else who learned to trust in the Lord.
4 comments:
It is SO HARD to be led! I would have just as difficult as a time - especially having no real control over the situation and not being able to see it ahead of time. I believe things turn out as they should. I think that even if it doesn't seem like the right place for a little while - the Lord will have you right where he needs you, or where he knows you need to be.
I really am happy for you and I hope it turns out the way you want it to.
that was a really great video. I too, have control issues where I need to KNOW what is happening, I need to PLAN, I'm all discombobulated if I can't do that.
But we all have our mountains to climb and letting go and trusting is one of our mountains. Little by little, bit by bit. We'll get there APrilyn! ;)
By the way, have you called Bishops of the ward(s) you're looking at to have them scout places for you? That might be your best bet!
There is a guy in the bishopric there who I actually dated before his mission. :D He has been looking for more places for us. Plus, Brian had a guy drive with him all over the neighborhoods of the schools we want. He has looked at a few places, and has an appointment to look at another one this morning. The one this morning is one I keep thinking about a lot. It is owned by a guy in the ward. I'm not sure how big it is, or if there is enough yard space for our trampoline, but I hope so.
I know it will all work out for you guys! Hang in there and it will come.
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