There is a boy in his Kindergarten class named Rylan. I'm not sure if he lives with both parents or if they are divorced, but he is in the before and after school care program at his school. He is constantly in trouble in the classroom, and goes to the principal's office frequently. I really feel bad for the kid. I wish he had caring AVAILABLE parents who would teach him the difference between right and wrong.
Earlier in the year, we had a problem with Rylan grabbing Marshall's crotch. We immediately told the teacher and principal about it, and later found out that other children in the class were also complaining about it. He did it to Marshall 3 times before they finally seemed to get it under control. We told Marshall we did not want him sitting with Rylan or playing with him at recess or center time. Unfortunately, Marshall didn't listen.
Because Nate is in the Safety Patrol at school, I have to take Marshall to school, and pick him up in the afternoon. I used to just meet him on the playground where we played on the equipment until Nate was done with his Patrol. One day Marshall forgot something, so we went back to his room to get it. His teacher was pleased and thought he had told me he had been in trouble that day. Marshall had not said a word. I don't think he really understood that he was in trouble.
I think it's easy to forget that he has Autism because he's so smart. Anyway, the teacher said he had been misbehaving all day. He was in a silly mood, and was laughing at everything all day. Then, I guess as they were going to lunch or something, he put his hands between his legs, bent over, and jumped down the hallway. (WHY?!) As if that wasn't enough, Rylan taught him to spell boobs and piss, and the two of them kept saying those words. That got both of them sent to the Principal's office. I don't know what would make my son think those are OK words to say! We talk to him, and read social stories to him about why you don't use "potty words". He does repeat words a lot (Echolalia) , and that might have been part of it.
Things were OK for a month or so. Then Sunday night he had a HORRIBLE night. He maybe slept 6 hours, but they were totally interrupted and full of bad dreams. Monday morning, he slept late, and was crying all the way to school because he was going to be late and miss "talking time" (the time before announcements begin). Yesterday afternoon, when I asked his teacher how his day was, she reported that he had a good morning, but then told him to tell me what he did in the afternoon. He came up to me as if to tell me, then turned to the teacher, and said, "I forgot." I think he was telling the truth. I don't think he remembered what he had done wrong. She said he and Rylan played together at Center Time, and were pretending to use the bathroom on people. The teacher did not see this happen, but she said several students reported it to her. Marshall said he had to do it because Rylan told him to.
How do you teach a child so young to combat Peer Pressure? More than that, how do teach a child with Autism that just because someone says you have to do something, that you can choose the right. We are making books (social stories), and talking to him, but I'm not sure he really understands. He said Rylan was the only one who would play with him. Marshall's problem is, he wants to play a very specific game. It usually revolves around his favorite video game, and he has a script in his head for how the game should go. He is very rigid, and doesn't want to play the game other people's way.
Marshall's teacher has assured me that Rylan and Marshall will not be in the same class next year, but she also said that there are plenty of kids in the other classes that are like Rylan, so I don't expect this to go away any time soon. :( Does anyone have any ideas?
2 comments:
Aprilyn. I am sorry that you are having to go through this. I think that peer pressure is always going to be there. Unfortunately, kids like ours will always be a target. Aidan had to go through something similar just after our last move. Some boys in the neighborhood were quick to notice that Aidan was "different". They were able to manipulate him into doing anything they thought of. Aidan didn't know that they were just exploiting him and didn't want to be friends. Aidan wanted to be accepted so badly. Society has taught us that you need to be superior. Bullies feed off of making you feel less than that. They separate the weak from the herd. They had managed to get Aidan to write in sidewalk chalk some very bad words. I was the first person to notice thankfully. I made him not only clean up all his chalk marks, but made him clean all of the marks off the buildings and sidewalks. He was able to see that there was a reaction for his actions. Now not everything that has worked for Aidan may not work for Marshall. Aidan responds to an appropriate action of "fixing" his mistakes. He soon learned that playing with those boys wasn't helping him and he would come in if they came out. I am on a first name basis with the school staff. We have had to come up with unique punishments to help him learn in his way. An example of that: he got upset with a bully of his own and in reaction threw a rock at the school building and another student. What we had him do was apologize and he had to go through the school property and pick up all of the rocks out of the grass. He learned that he needed to follow school rules and not touch the scenery. You know Marshall better than anyone so you should trust your gut. Also, I am just a phone call away. Anytime, day or night.
He wasn't allowed to play with his toys yesterday as a result of his actions. That seems to work. We know this isn't going to get better, but today he made good choices.
Post a Comment