I loved going to Music and the Spoken word but when I got home, I had a very angry 3 yr old waiting for me. It was one of those days that remind me...yes, there is a very high possibility he has some form of Autism. Yeah, others think I'm crazy for even suggesting it but they are not the ones who deal with the tantrums over getting clothes changed. Marshall HATES change SO much that changing his clothes or his pull-up are extremely stressful. I try doing his brushing and joint compressions but that makes him scream even more. There are days when I feel so relieved after he FINALLY falls asleep. But that relief won't last. He can't sleep through the night. This morning he was awake at 3am (after no nap and going to bed at 8pm) and wanted to watch a movie. He was awake for about 2 hrs before he finally fell asleep again. Today at church, Marshall would not smile or talk to ANYONE except to threaten to hit them or hurt them in some way. What was he angry about you ask? I never got him to specifically tell me but I think it's because I interrupted his schedule. I was gone this morning and then when we went to church, it was time for nursery since I got home so late. His OCD behaviors are getting worse. He is getting addicted to Castle Marbleworks again. He always loves to play it but when he gets obsessed with it, he won't eat, won't sleep...just wants to play. Not only does he want to play but he wants me or Brian to play it with him. That means one of us has to sit in front of the castle and put the balls up on top for him when they come out. If I try to put a ball down the ramp, he screams and hits me.
It's just been one of those days when you have to take it minute by minute and muddle through. We can do this...it's just really hard right now. He will eventually calm down again but I don't know when that will be. I'm not looking forward to Christmas and the meltdowns that will cause because his schedule is disrupted again. Somehow it will be OK. We always make it through. It's really REALLY hard but we make it through. We are not alone of course. Our Savior has said He will help and I know He gives us the strength we need to make it through each day.
7 comments:
Oh, Aprilyn, I wish I could give you a big hug!!
I'm glad you could vent, I hope that helped. But, I'm more glad at the end of your post you realize you are NOT alone! I know that the Savior the can help you be strong!! Just take it one day at a time. I will pray for you!!
Wow, you are a wonderful mother, Aprilyn! Marshall is very lucky to have such a great mommy to help him through his struggles in this life.
Aprilyn,
I feel for you, and he does sound a little like a child with autism or aspergers....Both are rough and hard to diagnose....I hope you can find a doctor to help you, I have gone through so many doctors in order to find the ones that can help my son the most..yes, it is hard and frustrating..but remember if God didn't think you could handle a child with "issues" then he would not have gave him to you...I have to feel a little special since I have one that is Bi-polar and one with autism...hang in there you can vent anytime you need to...I will listen and help if I can.
Cindy- oh, I didn't even scratch the surface of what's been going on here. I don't want my blog to turn into a rant on how BAD Marshall is. He has good times too.
Paige- I don't feel like a wonderful Mother. I'm just a Mom who is trying her very best to understand and help my son. I'm trying so hard to be patient. I just keep fighting for the help I need to get for him. It has not been an easy 3 yrs.
Kim- I knew you would understand and you are right, this is a young age to get a diagnosis. It sure doesn't make it any easier to deal with does it. I'm almost in tears today because I've hit the end of my rope for the day. I've been hit, scratched, nearly bit, screamed at, etc. He screams if he gets frustrated (which happens SO EASILY!!!!) then he starts throwing things and hitting things. He FREAKED out and started hitting, scratching and otherwise trying to inflict as much pain on me as possible because I left his shoes in the car since I was just planning on holding him while I ran into the picture studio to pick up our pictures. BIG SIGH.. I'll make it through...I always do.
We have an appointment with the Utah Autism Research Project to begin their testing in January.
Hi Aprilyn! Thanks so much for commenting on my blog. SO great to hear from you and read YOUR cute blog. Your little boys are adorable and you and your hubby look so happy! I have really enjoyed reading your updates and learning about your family. Poor little Marshall's struggles sound difficult to manage, but I think he is very lucky to have the parents he has. It sounds like you are doing a great job handling all the stress- with a very admirable positive attitude, too! I know you will get through these tough years as you get the help you need for your little boy. Thank goodness kids are so cute and can melt our hearts to make up for all the hard times, right? That's what I think about my little Braydon when he gives me moments of heck. :) Hang in there! You are doing a wonderful job and will be blessed for your efforts as a mother.
Well, I hope you and your family have a wonderful Christmas! It would be so fun to visit you and Jenny sometime. I am excited to hear Emily will be here soon too! I HOPE I can see her and all of you very soon. Best wishes!
i'm so sorry things are so tough. i deal with daily meltdowns, and thought they were bad, but not now. you truely are a saint and i'm so glad that you realize that Heavenly Father is behind you, pushing if necessary.
you are so patient and caring, although he may not understand it, he is so lucky to have you!!!
Aprilyn, I have chills that won't go away. I cannot imagine what this does for your sanity and Brian's. Wow, I don't know what to say. Except he is a lucky boy to have you and he'll have the eternities to thank you for playing the Castle marble thing. Maybe he'll even build you a castle in heaven. I'm sure you're wondering "what's the lesson in this?" Surely it will come one day. Love and hugs.
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